Story 2 - Wildlife

A couple of weeks ago my Director told me a story about his flying instructor. This guy and a friend had flown, in a helicopter, to the North Pole and the South Pole. At some point they had to ditch the aircraft in Antarctica. This is the dialogue that followed.

Pete: So, they had to ditch this fucking chopper in a fucking snow storm in Antarctica!
Me: Wow, that sounds harsh, I assume they were ok?
Pete: I don't think you get it, it's fucking Antarctica, there is no life there what so ever, even animals can't live there it's so cold. So they were in big trouble!
Me: Well, I am sure they were, but the fact he told you the story suggests he came out ok. Plus, I'm pretty sure penguins live there and seals.
Pete: No, that's the other one. There is nothing in Antarctica. People can't go there, these guys were breaking a Guinness world record.
Me: I have no doubt they were, but I am not sure it's first people to Antarctica, I think people live in research stations there.
Pete: I'm pretty sure these chaps were amongst the first. Anyway, there are definitely no fucking penguins there. That's the other one.
Me: Oh, ok.

I gave up with trying to educate him, I just sent him a link to the BBC's Frozen Planet and thought I would let him figure it out for himself. This conversation made me die a little bit inside.

Story 1 - And so it begins.

This New Year, having been head-hunted, I started working at a well established design company. I was full of hope as this company promised to be everything that my last place wasn't. In the interview the Directors came across as the ultimate professionals and everything seemed to be perfect. Forgetting the age old saying 'If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is' I signed on the dotted line and became the newest member of the team.

Within 2 days of being in the company, it dawned on me that perhaps my boss had been putting on a little bit of an act in the interview as we had the following conversation. (Names have been changed to protect the stupid)


Pete: Is Nova Scotia a foreign fucking country?
Me: Pardon?
Pete: Nova Soctia, is it a foreign co....wait, I found it. Oh, ha ha, it's in Halifax. Funny, it sounded foreign to me.
Me: It's an Island province of Canada, off the east coast. The capital is Halifax. It's not in the UK.
Pete: Are you sure? I am pretty fucking sure it's in Halifax
Me: I am sure, I have a globe at home.
Pete: Oh, well, that's probably a little far to drive for a second hand TV then.



I waited to see if he was joking, he wasn't. This was just the tip of the iceberg!